Thinking Of You
by Twilight ISN'T the best
Summary: I'm a sick person. My boyfriend Duncan is making love to me, but all I can think about is my ex-boyfriend Justin. I miss him, I'm still in love with him, and I'm noticing that Duncan's eyes are just a few shades grayer than his... Told you I was sick.


**This is a CourtneyxJustin oneshot I decided to make. Don't hate me!**

**I love CourtneyxJustin almost as much as I love HaroldxCourtney, which is slightly more than CourtneyxDuncan. **

**TDI NEVER HAPPENED... but this did: Courtney and Justin dated. **

**In this story, Courtney and Justin dated for a long time, but he had to go away for some modeling thing and the long-distance relationship was really hard on the two of them. They decided to break-up, but they still miss each other. I got the idea for the story listening to 'Thinking Of You' by Katy Perry. Thus, that is the song that will be put with this story. Enjoy! PS: I changed the lyrics a little bit to fit the story more.**

* * *

I'm a disgusting person. Here I am, lying in bed under the sweetest man I've even known, yet I can't stop thinking about him.

_Him? What, is his name taboo now?_

No, I just don't know if I can say it.

_Pathetic._

I know... oh great, now not only am I monologuing while Duncan makes love to me, I'm _arguing_ with myself while I monologue.

So you might be wondering what's going on right now, huh? Well, my boyfriend Duncan is making love to me in his room while I'm thinking about my _ex_-boyfriend Justin.

Told you I was sick.

How can you blame me though? Justin was handsome, sensitive, and he never once cheated on me... unlike Duncan, who 'did it' with the resident Plastic, Heather.

I just noticed something. Duncan's eyes are only a few shades grayer than Justin's beautiful eyes.

_Comparisons are easily turned_

_Once you've had a taste of perfection _

_Like an apple hanging from a tree _

_I picked the ripest one I still got the seed_

Duncan carefully looked at me, gauging my expression to see if I was okay with him finally taking my virginity. I suppose I must have looked like I was ready (whatever that looks like) because he plunged into me seconds later.

It was... painful. Not at all like those romance novels I used to read (my weakness) where the pleasure overpowers the pain. Of course, in the novels I was reading the girls were having sex with hot, manly vampires (that DON'T sparkle) while in very romantic settings.

"Princess," He moaned. That was another thing: Justin always called me by my name, unless he was feeling very playful. Duncan, on the other hand, calls me Princess all the time, no matter what. It bothers me immensely, and perhaps that's why he does it.

Still, even a nickname like Princess would sound wonderful if it were Justin saying it...

_You said move on _

_Where do I go _

_I guess second best _

_Is all I will know_

It was only a few days after Justin left that Duncan started flirting with me. You see, he knew Justin had a big model opportunity that would require him to move away, so Duncan took advantage of that and started turning the charm on full whenever he talked to me.

A few months later, Justin and I had a mutual agreement to break-up. It was the stupidest thing I'd ever agreed to. And I'd agreed to let Duncan take my virginity.

Not that Duncan isn't sweet, because he is. Under that entire pierced and punked exterior is a heart of gold. It sounds cliché, but it's true. All he had to do was show a bit of that side and I started dating him.

Exactly 69 days after Justin and I broke up.

I sound so obsessive, it's pathetic. 'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes

* * *

_You're like an Indian summer _

_In the middle of winter _

_Like a hard candy _

_With a surprise center _

_How do I get better _

_Once I've had the best _

_You said there's _

_T__ons of fish in the water _

_So the waters I will test_

I don't know why I can't stop thinking about her. Who? Courtney, of course. My name's Justin, and I'm sitting in my fancy expensive apartment, on my fancy soft bed, wrapped in my fancy silk sheets. Next to me is some girl my mother wanted me to date 'for show' to help me stay in the magazines.

I forget her name. All I know is that she has mocha hair and beautiful skin the precise shade of Courtney's.

No.

Her skin was naturally that color. This girl paid lots of money for that skin tone.

She stirred beside me and looked up with half-lidded eyes. "Morning, Justin."

"Good morning." I put on my best face, smile and all, then kissed her gently. I couldn't help but compare her to Courtney. Courtney tasted like everything sweet and wonderful in the world. This girl tasted like artificial strawberries and lemon lip balm.

I hate lemon.

_She kissed my lips _

_I taste your mouth _

_She pulled me in _

_I was disgusted with myself_

Honestly, I can't even stand looking in the mirror today (okay, maybe I can, but you can't blame me for wanting to) because I feel so dirty. I'm almost afraid that if I touch my face, I'll get a hand full of mud.

Truth is, I'm still in love with Courtney.

__

'Cause when I'm with her

_I am thinking of you _

_Thinking of you _

_What you would do if _

_You were the one _

_Who was spending the night _

_Oh I wish that __I _

_Was looking into..._

"Duncan," I said, hoping my voice portrayed the right emotions.

He stopped abruptly. "What is it, Princess?"

I bit my lip, biting down so hard it bled. "This isn't right. I-I'm sorry." I pushed him away and tumbled off the bed and onto a pile of my clothes. "I can't do this right now."

"Babe,"

"No, I'm not your _babe_. I'm _Courtney_, Courtney Soldana. Remember that name if you even want to talk to me again!" I grabbed my skirt and jacket then, grasping the rest of my clothes in my hand, walked out the door.

_You're the best _

_And yes I do regret _

_How I could let myself _

_Let you go_

The girl was gone in moments, and I was gone in seconds. I took a shower, got dressed, and headed for the nearest airport.

Today, I would find Courtney.

Looking back on this idea, I suppose it was less than intelligent. But, hey, love makes you crazy.

_Now the lesson's learned _

_I touched it I was burned _

_Oh I think you should know_

* * *

I walked the rest of the way home, ignoring all the comments I got about how 'fine' my ass looked.

Got, this was the worst day ever.

It wasn't a long walk, I live only a few blocks from Duncan, but it was hard. I probably looked awful, and I felt even worse. I missed Justin because he was sweet. And he was a whole hell of a lot better than Duncan.

Duncan who couldn't even remember my name.

_'Cause when I'm with her _

_I am thinking of you _

_Thinking of you _

_What you would do if _

_You were the one _

_Who was spending the night _

_Oh I wish that __I _

_Was looking into your eyes_

I plopped down on my bed as soon as I got home, knowing that mom and dad were at work. That's why I was so freaked out when I heard someone knocking on my bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

It was the unmistakable velvet-esque voice I knew and loved. "Justin?"

_Oh won't you walk through _

_And bust in the door _

_And take me away _

_Oh no more mistakes _

_'Cause in your eyes _

_I'd like to stay... _

_stay...._

* * *

* * *


End file.
